See what happens when it's quiet around here, I go poking around in my profile since I haven't updated in a bit...
Let's see, let's do the fun stuff first...
* Why yes, I am sure that's my bra size. I have been professionally measured and I trust those girls well, with my girls, so I'm sure they are correct in my sizing.
* If you are easily scared by what I have to say in my profile, I'm definitely not the girl for you, I promise, I'm really not all that scary. Honest. I'm actually a pretty nice girl. I'm actually a bit shy in the beginning. Someone recently told me I was scaring away the right guys... I have been resisting the urge to write about that mythical creature known as "Mr. Right" but so far I've managed to hold my forked tongue. 
* I am married, however, I am in an open relationship. My husband is well aware of what is going on, this is not done behind his back but with his full agreement, he has his own profile on this site for finding his own playmates. This is a two way street there is no jealous or upset spouse waiting in the wings.
The hubs surprised me, yet again, by telling me I could pursue the whole threesome thing without him. (I know, right?! I about fell over.) That's still on my list of things to do.  Ideally I'd love to find a consistent playmate. I've never wanted to have some collection of men, as exciting as it sounds, I'm terribly bad at juggling and would rather not drop the balls on my head. (You can take that as a pun or leave it, I'd suggest leaving it...) Now, that statement alone will likely scare off some of those mythical Mr. Right (Nows) but I assure you, I'm not running away with you but I'd at least like enough connection so that we can be friendly and hold a conversation with each other. Eventually there comes a time that you need a breather, better to have some sort of connection rather than lay naked next to each other talking about the weather, makes the time pass quicker.  Or better yet, go to a baseball or football game since my British hubby doesn't get into American sports, it would be fantastic to have someone to hang out with who understands the ground rule double.
Since I feel the need for a disclaimer of nearly legal proportions, yes, the boobs are real. Honestly I didn't think they could get any bigger than they were before I had a baby (goodness knows I was hoping they'd get smaller after having one as so many of my girlfriends whined about losing them after kids) alas, I was not to have my wish of more normal sized boobs, I went from an F (which was bad enough) to the now staggering K that I am now. But just for those not in the know (read: rude boys who have asked me questions or made asinine assumptions/comments about how my fake boobs hang) a really good bra can make boobs round, perky, and looking like those that some women pay tens of thousands of dollars for; I thought I had it bad having to shell out $80+ for a bra that puts the girls back where they belong.
Now, the asshatory (I love making up new words, I should get a job at Webster's) has seemed to have level off (now don't take that as me issuing a challenge or anything, let's all be good sports now) but really, if you don't have anything nice to say, just keep it to yourself. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. I will not treat anyone poorly, even the asshats who email me with lots of disrespectful, demeaning, and rude things generally just get ignored. This is partly because of that old "if you don't have something nice to say" rule but also because it would obviously be a waste of my time, what I would say would likely be lost in translation.
If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm pretty sarcastic (okay, I'm a lot sarcastic) honestly, the sarcasm is a bit of a shield. I'm also jaded and skeptical but I own it. Apparently while I was in college I was too busy working and dating the wrong guy (because I have notoriously horrible taste in men, just ask my husband, he'll tell you all about it) and I missed out on a couple experiences that in my mid-life crisis (really it's the only reason I have come up with to explain my recent change in behavior or it's that whole women reach their prime later in life thing) I'm looking to remedy. I do have a rather pointed wit, I love mischief, and I'm usually game for a good practical joke.
A little about me. I'm 5'2", great hazel eyes, long brown hair, and little on the chubby side, 36/38 K with hips so my boobs don't make me fall on my face while walking. I've been told that my smartass-ness (is that even a word?!) is part of my endearing charm, sometimes I think it just means I'm obnoxious and nobody wants to tell me. Now let me make this perfectly clear, just so there is NO misunderstanding... I am not now nor have I ever been a candidate for the Swedish Bikini Team. First off I'm too short, that I had no control over, heck, I'm happy I made 5'2". With the gene pool I was given it's a wonder I made the 5 foot mark. While I have boobs that over achieve for the position, the rest of me, well that would likely disqualify me, and besides, I'm not really high maintenance enough for the job anyway. (Did I mention I'm a bit of a misogynist?)
I love to read, watch the occasional movie, I'm a great cook, I love to sew and design kids' clothing. I love hiking, motorcycles, being outdoors especially in the mountains or at the beach. I love baseball and college football, pro ball is okay, and hockey is cool too. I am totally baffled by basketball, probably has something to do with my height, but I at least understand the general idea of moving the ball from one end of the court to the other. I am passed the whole club and bar scene, I had enough of that back in my early 20's as a bartender, the mystery is gone there for me. I love to travel, have done quite a bit of if, especially growing up as an Army brat. I have fairly eclectic taste in music, love going to concerts (just saw KISS recently) and love Broadway shows as well as opera, ballet and the symphony. I'm also a bit of an Tudor/Elizabethan history nut.
My Ideal Person:
While I'm immensely flattered by the attention of much younger men, (Crap, I'm 40 now, I guess that means I could be Mrs. Robinson but I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that yet.) I would prefer someone closer to my own age or even slightly older. If I only knew in my 20's about older men what I know now, my whole life would be different. That doesn't automatically disinclude you but it is my preference, start a conversation with me and we'll see where it goes.
Just because I listed my "ideal" below doesn't mean that I'm not interested in other things. I have a soft spot for guys that look like that, if you get to know me you might find out why. I also have a soft spot for military guys and firefighters. But in all honesty, I like men, lots of types of men. What turns me on more than anything is a guy who can make me laugh, who has a fabulous personality, is articulate, doesn't take himself or life too seriously.
Please have interests, please engage me in a conversation, please do something other than tell me you want to fuck me or how you plan on doing it (I like surprises, besides, I figured most people on this site are here trying to get laid) or I that have a nice rack; (yes, I know, it's impressive that is until you have to carry it around all the time) please tell me about yourself (no really, you'll get a better response (or actually get one) from me if you've got something to say about yourself.) Just a warning though, sometimes I get A LOT of mail, this usually happens when things are crazy around here and I get behind on responses, so I apologize in advance for sometimes being tardy.
I've got a weakness for the big well built guy, my ideal 6'2", 235-250#, muscular build, if you don't mind a girl with a little meat on her bones, I'll be over the moon for you. Like I said, it's a weakness, not a requirement.
Ideally you'll have a sense of humor (this is more of a requirement,) not be so uptight that you can't laugh at yourself, and be laid back. Please be honest with me, that's another one of those things that's high up on my list, my pre-approved playmate said it best when he told me, "I don't have to lie to you because you're not my wife." Truer words have never been spoken. I will return in kind. If this appeals to you please drop me a line and we'll see where this goes.
If you're just in this to pad your friends list, gather pictures, or generally not take this any farther than chatting perhaps we can save each other gift of time, I'm really looking to make this a reality. It may take a while for me to get back with you sometimes since in addition to the volume of email I sometimes get, I do have a young child at home with activities and my daily life sometimes does have to take precedence over me getting laid (being a grown up is SO overrated.) Ideally you'll understand that sometimes schedules have to change at the last minute because something has happened at home that I have no control over.
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A swimming pool or hot tub
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Threesomes
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
|
122,733 Members Online NOW!
