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I have met some very nice guys from here and even a couple of jerks (shock and surprise) but I have yet to meet the one who makes me say "Damn so that is what I have been missing out on!" I have also learned that if YOU say in your profile that you are very attractive ummm yeah usually you aren't in most cases. Just because mommy or grandma say you are doesn't really mean you are. I think you should let the readers decide that for themselves. Then again thats just me thinking. I also have 2 (two) words to say. SPELL CHECK!! Learn to use it and enough on that. I'm a pretty shy person until you get to know me. I have a great sense of humor or so I think. I laugh alot. Sarcastic and perverted makes a great sense of humor combination and am basically looking for the same. Someone that can make me laugh. One that I have chemistry with. Not looking for a one night stand, but not really looking for a LTR but if it happens thats all the better. Guess I'm looking for a Friend with Benefits sort of thing. Although I was told I'd have a better chance finding Big Foot. Take in a movie, go out to dinner, or just hang around the house. This person must like dogs I have 1 and he is part of the family. I'm not a clingy possessive person and it doesn't take much to impress me. Please don't send me cock pictures. I would much rather see who is emailing me, so lets leave something to the imagination. I also don't want to see a picture of someone eating the cooch. Its all good that you love that, but hell I love eating fried chicken I don't send pictures of that out. Please don't send me your phone number. I will not call you. Just because I looked at your profile does not mean I want to sleep with you. If you're expecting some hottie because of my boobs and cleavage picture you need to look someplace else. I have scared enough men away. WARNING: Ask for pictures at your own risk. I am not liable for loss of eyesight or loss of erections. If you don't like tattoos you need to move on. I have a few. On that note I wish yall Happy Beaver Hunting.
My Ideal Person:
I'm looking for someone that wants to take the time to know me. A guy that I can be myself around. After that I'm looking for someone who wears a uniform (thats hot). There is nothing hotter than a tall man in a uniform. I love short hair. I'm not into hairy chest or backs. No Chewbaccas. Well groomed trimmed or shaved is what I'm interested in. Teeth are a must and so is fresh breath. Trust me on this. No one wants to be with someone that you can still smell their breath after they've left the building. I'm looking for a great sense of humor. Gotta love those stupid humor movies. I'm basically just looking for a nice fun guy who wears a uniform and is tall, has his teeth, fresh breath, not hairy and loves to laugh. Not too much huh?? Why does Howie Long keep coming into my mind here?? Damn hes hot!! Where do I draw the line on age?? I'm told I'm to uptight about the whole age thing. I'm working on that. I'm gonna go with if I'm old enough to be your mom or you're old enough to be my dad thats not gonna happen. I think I've about said it all. Do I sound picky?? Damn right I am. After being married for 22 years I've earned that right. Do I think I'm better than anyone else? Absolutely not. I just know what I'm looking for and not what I'm going to settle with. Which means NO ASSHOLES!!
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
The middle of a park, A remote wilderness spot, Under a waterfall, My desk at work, A swimming pool or hot tub, An elevator
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Voyeurism, Massage
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Howie Long is my absolute fantasy guy. Hes tall, nice body,
short hair, nice teeth and a great smile.
Have you ever had cybersex?:
No way. I only want skin on skin.
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