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Desire
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Posted:May 29, 2008 4:29 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2011 6:41 am
1194 Views
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Have you ever noticed the difference between how attracted you are to a person when you know that person has the hots for you? This is probably more prevalent in men, because women are usually the ones who are being pursued. You can be in a group of people and not pay much attention to someone of the gender you prefer (I was almost going to write "opposite sex", but that's not the case nowadays). But if a person shows an interest in you, specifically a sexual interest, then your desire for that person escalates. The more the interest, the stronger the desire, until you find yourself in bed with them having mind blowing sex.
This relates to the validation we all seek - we want to be wanted. This is even true with ones work. It has been proven over and over again that appreciation in the workplace ranks amongst the highest satisfaction quotient.
So how does this work when you are plying a Website where you have no idea what the person is about, especially as many profiles are poorly written? The only thing we know is that the person is looking for sex in some form. For those who seek just physical satisfaction, then the quest is easy. But most need more than that. Most require the chemistry that makes the sex outstanding, yet many filter respondents so finely that chances of meeting that person is diminished.
We know that where circumstances permit, we can desire a person regardless of their age or physical attributes, yet most will preselect their ideal mate using these parameters. I am particularly affected by this because virtually every profile I look at there is an "X" next to age. Yet I have, for the last 3 years, been having an affair with a gorgeous looking woman about half my age - and she indicated she would marry me if I left my wife! Yet if she were to put together a profile on Passion, I would not be considered.
With an analogy to fishing, you have to throw back a lot of undesired catches until you find the "big one" - it's just the doctrine of probability. The wider you cast your net, the more undesirables you will get, but you will increase your probability of finding the ones you want to keep. The longer you stay at it, the better your chances. If you're lucky, you can hook the one you want early in the game, but that's not likely. Sometimes, the methods used to get the big ones are more onerous and time-consuming, but the results are worth it. You can't be lazy and expect results.
I guess you can tell my annual fishing trip is coming up...
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Why Married Men Cheat
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Posted:May 20, 2008 8:05 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2011 6:38 am
1350 Views
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This is not supposed to be an exposé of married men or why they choose to seek affairs outside their relationship. I just thought it would be interesting to submit my point of view, and not to have it sanctioned or otherwise approved - it's still wrong!
I have always considered myself to be of high moral character - hell! I don't even cheat on my taxes. Being a professional, I have had lots of opportunities to gain money through not-so-honest means, but have always taken the moral high road. So why do I cheat on my wife?
For many, you will be able to empathize with me when I say that it was essential for me to find lust and passion that was missing from my relationship. Turns out that even though I have a great relationship with my wife - there's nothing I wouldn't do for her - she cannot seem to provide me with all my needs. She never really has been a sexual person, although sex was abundant early in the marriage. I have discovered that I am very sexual and have even experienced men (a long time fantasy).
I must admit that I tried awfully hard to rekindle things with her, but there was always excuses for not having sex - it was always too this or too that, when the real reason was that the desire had waned. I was left with a dilemma - leave her and seek the sexual satisfaction I needed, or...
The need for such satisfaction was ruining my quality of life. I could imagine what it was like to be gay and not able to pursue that which was somehow inbred into you. I was at a point where I just wanted anybody, as long as she was different. The urge was so incredibly strong that I came close to hitting up friends, but fortunately, didn't pursue that route. Looking back though, I regret some of the compromises I made by meeting some of the women I did. I realized then that it was more the fantasy of the encounter than the reality. I found it difficult meeting just for sex and realized I need to be aroused to enjoy it. I discovered that what I was really looking for was very difficult to find, especially on a Web site. To get the passion and lust we seek, there must be chemistry, which can only be there after we meet and, referring to my earlier blog, many get passed over or filtered out early in the process.
I would be interested in hearing any other views from people in relationships who look for sex elsewhere. For me, I found it to be an essential need that was not being fulfilled, but did not want to sabotage an otherwise perfectly good marriage to achieve it.
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Meeting on Passion
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Posted:May 18, 2008 8:17 am
Last Updated:Jan 14, 2011 6:36 am
1235 Views
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I'm sure there are lots of "encounters" as a result of Passion listings. But many would-be encounters are glossed over by the filtering used by people in their profile. Of course, where women are concerned, they have to filter in order to limit somewhat the responses they get. It's much like when I advertise for staff for my office, I try to be as broad as possible but have to have limitations so that I don't have to wade through a pile of useless information from people who nowhere near match the requirements. Having said that, a couple of staff members have come to me from personal references and, had I reviewed their resume, I wouldn't have given them a second look. One of these people is probably in line for an eventual director's position and maybe President of the company - and I would have discarded his resume.
If only we could see through the profiles and determine deep down which ones represent the best person for us. I have the disadvantage of age, so most profiles block that out and I don't get a second look. Yet recently I met a gorgeous 35-year-old through my work and there is so much chemistry between us, despite the age difference, that we have enjoyed that which most of us are looking for on this site. Problem is, she is single and needs to find someone who can give her more than I can.
In speaking to many on this site, both men and women, plus my own experiences with people on Passion and other sites, both men and women, there is a lot of disappointment. Somehow, there should be a test that people have to pass to become a member of a site such as this, because there are so many strange people out there. Not sure what kind of test one could develop, but it would be good to know that people meet a basic standard, for whatever I don't really know.
I'm sure there have been some good match-ups here and those of you who are good looking, young and single get the most action. I wish there was a site like this when I was younger - especially when I was divorced from my first wife. I'm not sure that it's the site for those seeking serious, long-term relationships. It is so difficult to find all the right compatible elements and nuances to make a lasting relationship - the sex is merely something that's a result of such attractions and, unfortunately, does not last with the lustful and passionate feelings present in the early years.
As you can read from my other postings, I have been extremely fortunate in having recent experiences of lust and passion, which I think every man (and women) should be able to experience in the later years of their life. Unfortunately, I must now suffer the feelings of loss and can only cherish the awesome memories she has left me. It is unlikely that I would meet someone who could give me the satisfaction she did - and it wasn't just about the sex. I loved the text messages with "Kisses" or some other message with sexual innuendos (like "I want u"). Just the idea that someone who looks gorgeous, is tall and slim and very desirable, has the hots for me. That does wonders for the ego.
Good luck to everyone on the site and I hope you find what you are looking for.
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To link to this blog (rm_lkg4sex4) use [blog rm_lkg4sex4] in your messages.
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