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A lot of people as they go through life achieve greatness in massing wealth,,fame or doing their fellow mankind a service.But my achievement has to to with myself.I have come out as a woman,totally and entirely.I have played this part for 12 years totally 24-7 and is now ready to let people in my life.
I have always felt from an early age that something wasn't right and felt I was a girl trapped in a boys body.I like boy stuff,but not to be one of them,I could relate to the feminine things much better.
So after high school I let my hair grow and bought all new clothes,,perfumes,,lingerie,,changed my name and acted,,lived,,talked,,and preformed as a woman.
I always wear sexy lingerie,,heels,,garters,,skirts and dresses,,sometimes pantyhose (these all hides my male bulge),,if wearing something tight fitting,,I tape myself down.
My new friends,co-workers,and people I meet everyday never found out,,at least nothing was said..Guys ask me out almost daily so I figure I am quite passable.I have dated both men and women socially but not as lovers.I did have one female lover for long term but her bio clock began to tick and thought her husband would not understand..
I was blessed as having an hour glass shape,,light complexion,,small hands and feet very little body hair,,no face hair and a woman's voice..Other than the fact I have full working male junk,I am all woman..I did have breast surgery (although I did have small B-cup breast in high school),,to get myself more proportioned, but that is all.I am not going any farther with this,I am happy here,but always wished I had a vagina.
I am a size 8 in dresses,,size 6 in shoes,,37-24-35,,brown hair,,,blue contacts,,light D cup,,but mostly wear a C cup,,had breast surgery,,master degrees,,modeled professionally,,now have a government job and am independent.
As you can see from my picture at the upper left hand corner,,,a lot of work and a desire,,this is what can be attained.
I especially love women,I like everything about them.I study their actions,,moves and mannerisms.I want to be just like them,,but with out the attitude that some display.
I love guys also,especially feminine ones.T-girls have always attracted me,I felt like,, I am not the only weird one in this.I like to find sisters and be close.
My greatest hope would be to fall in love and live happily ever after.To whom,, makes no difference,my heart is accepting to all.I can work with whatever body parts you have and hope you can do the same with me.
Please feel free to mail me and we can start a conversation,compare notes and help shoulder this together. |
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My first date coming up
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Posted:Mar 5, 2010 10:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:32 pm
4648 Views
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I have been here roughly 2 weeks now and have talked to several about actually meeting for lunch..I have finally found a couple that seems genuine,,,our date is this Saturday..There have been many others,,singles and couples,, that are in the running but this couple is with in easy driving distance.
I am scared to death!!!Not that they are mean or violent,,but are they going to like me?,,are they going to understand who I am,,are they going to accept me for me?,,am I going to leave a good impression with them,,,,wow,,,this is harder than a job interview!
Any advice?,, any one who wants to share with me,,first date advice?..I have had other dates in the past,,but non from this site with all my cards on the table...I want them to like me and hope there is more dates with them in the future.
If my date is reading this,,,,,please be patient,,,,I am nervous and may say something off the wall because of it..I am really looking forward to our date,,,just hope I don't mess it up somehow!
Wish me luck....Hugs...Candi
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Every woman should be a guy first.
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Posted:Mar 3, 2010 12:18 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:32 pm
4966 Views
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That may sound a little off-beat but let me explain.
I consider myself as a woman!.No matter what the law states or public opinion dictates in society.I dress like one,,I look like one,,I interact with others like one and most importantly,,,,I feel like one..
So,,what does a woman feel like?
I copied most of my female traits from my mother while growing up..I studied girls and women all my life,,watching them,,their walk,,their moves,,how the communicate,,how they interact with their gender and the opposite sex..I feel I know more about acting like a woman,, than most do,,maybe even more than some women do..Knowing how to be poised,,elusive,,but inviting at the same time,,how to avoid confrontation but not weak or submissive..
Flirting;
The art of flirting has been lost in many cases..I studied flirting from books and real life experiences..Flirting is a way to say that you are interested in a non-sexual way,,but always leaves you wondering..Flirting is something that can't be done in letters or IM,,it is a "in person" kind of activity..One has to see your flirtee close up,,to see their eyes,,to hear their voice or the blush in their face,,,how they sit and body language in general..Am I making them uncomfortable or tense,,am I overdoing it,,or they not be interested at all.
Sexual;
Being sexual aways starts with the eyes..Women need to be dressed as to be un-dressed..Not in a street corner kind of fashion,,but a classic skirt,,low cut top,but not plunging,,hair in classic styles,,stockings only and a pair of spike heels..Take long slow steps and move your hips...Scents are the second most important aspect..You must be attractive to the nose,,but not overpowering..I prefer something in the floral line,,lilies of the valley..Make-up must not be troweled upon your face but applied gently and with care..Too much is not a good thing,,just enough to bring the color and shape of your eyes out and hide small inperfections.
Attitude;
Women must act like woman..Be interested and interesting.Laugh at small jokes,,be interactive,,compelling,,observant,,and attentive..Looking into their eyes as if there is no one else in the room,,be totally in the moment..Always soft spoken,,sensitive,,a little timid but not backward..
I practice all of these traits and makes me a better woman..I work harder at being one than most women do themselves..I have been a guy and much prefer being a woman..We wear all the sexy things,,smell good all the time and if done properly,,can wear most anything and look good with it on..Doors are opened for us,,we enter first,,as walking down the street,,guys "and" girls look at us,,we can kiss each other and guys thinks that is so hot,,so many perks for being a gal..
So,,,for women to appreciate what they have,,they should be a guy first..
Just thinking out loud here....Hugs...Candi
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I am woman,,,hear me roar...PART 3
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Posted:Mar 3, 2010 8:15 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:33 pm
4006 Views
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Not really,,maybe just a meow!
This post is mainly about my current state and adult life as a woman.
After school I applied for a job in a Community Action Group,,which writes grants for schools and nonprofit organizations..I work mostly out of my home and travel to actually speak to the ,,view the facility and such..
I never worked hand in hand with anyone as to be discovered..I am a passable girl anyway so there weren't much danger there..
I was asked out several times through this,,lunch,,dinner and coffee to discuss the grant and socialize some..Everybody was charming and was always asked for a follow up date or when I would be in the area again..I do keep in touch with several via phone,,but seldom had the second dates..It wasn't that I weren't interested,,but what did I have to offer a guy that was trying to date a real girl?
So that brings me here..I have tried on other vanilla social web sites,,but where is the category there for trans gender people?,,and dodn't want every school mocking my site...So I am here!.I have found several guys/girls/gurls/couples that are sweet..Several I just have to meet in person and see what they are like in person..
I really don't have a preference as to gender,,just someone that is capable of friendship and love..A t-girl,,I would have the most in common with,,someone to share my lifestyle,,share clothes and anything for that matter..A girl that is passable like myself and can live it 24-7..I belong to a few groups here and there are several on there that I could get attached to quite easily..
A guy that isn't afraid to show their fem side,,dress a little and be themselves..I have spoke to a few and hit it off..I would always be the woman in the relationship and he can be whatever he chooses..But won't go out with a hairy guy in public that is in a dress..You need to be passable in public and anything in the privacy of my/our home.
A woman is great too,,,but not many looking for me..
But who ever I date they have to understand that I am in a relationship with my long term girlfriend and has to have the freedom to be with her,,alone..She is the most understanding person I have met and is the love of my life..We view each other as having a hetero and lesbian love for each other..She stood beside of me in whatever challenge I had..I love her deeply and could never hurt her..I could also love others as she did/does with her husband now..My heart is open and could never be filled all the way up..
Thanks for taking the time to read this,,there will be more...Hugs..Candi
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Mid point in my life...PART 2
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Posted:Feb 27, 2010 4:07 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:33 pm
4509 Views
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Hope I didn't bore you all too much with my ramblings on the last post.
Attending college at that time was the high point to my life thus far..I was open to be me,,act like me and do things that I wanted to do..Dressing down in school was the norm and didn't have to concentrate on being perfect in my transformation..My studies kept my mind busy and spend a lot of time alone in that endeavor..
My first quarter in school I had a single dorm room which I kept for 2 years..But after that I wanted to be in a girl environment..So I signed up to share a room with another girl..
My first day with her was frightening,,,was she going to find out,,see something that would expose me?..Life with her was quite normal and uneventfully..She had her life and me,,mine..She was cute,,nice and smart..We talked quite a bit but didn't spend a lot of time together..I bought a curtain and placed between our beds on the impression that I snored,but really didn't want her to see morning wood if I went uncovered during the night..When she changed clothing,,I turned my head or left the room..OMG!!!!..I wanted to look so badly,,but that would not be fair to her..I felt like a woman,,looked like a woman,,,the only hitch was this thing between my legs saying that I was a guy in every bodies eyes!!!!
I did well in school with my studies and socializing..I was hit on consistently by guys and a few girls..My senior year I was feeling real good about myself,,getting close to graduating and confident as a woman..I took a photography class to fill in some time..It was a fun educational class and never realized what went into a good photo..I sat beside of a fairly attractive blond girl that had the most beautiful eyes,,ones that melted you as you peered into them..As I was hoping,,we were paired together to do a project..So we met out of class,,done our project together,,,(which we aced it),,and was starting to meet and talk,, out of the class situation..
We started being together most of the day when we were not in classes or studying..One evening she said she couldn't stand it any longer and wanted to know if I wanted to go out with her on a date!,,a romantic date?..I was stunned,,flattered,,scared and aroused at the same time...What would she think of my sex,,would she tell everyone and be thrown out and shunned?
Talking with her went on for hours and hours..I asked her if she was a lesbian or bi or what?..She couldn't tell me and really didn't know herself..I asked her why she asked me out and not a hotter girl that was everywhere there..Her response was,,,she felt something about me that attracted her..
By this time I really wanted to find out what she thought about sex,,lesbians,,gays,,hetero,,cross dressers and of coarse,,t-girls..Come to find out,,she was very welcoming with all of them,,,it was their choice and she didn't look down upon it..
So using my natural balls,,,I told her I was a gender cross over...She stared at me,,which seemed like a hour,, and slowly and calmly she held out her arms gave me a hugs and the most passionate kiss I ever experienced..Needless to say,,,I dodged the bullet again and from then on,, we were a couple,,a lesbian couple to our friends,,but a couple never the less..
We fell in love,,graduated college,,and lived together for 7 years..We broke up a few years ago,,she wanted and a family which was fine,,but the both of us felt it was not right to raise with 2 Moms and we separated in very good terms..She has a husband now and ..We still see each other and are still in love and always will be..We get together about once a month or so and share life experiences and sex!..I know it is cheating,,but we are in love..She loves her husband with the same love as with me..It is a poly relationship with her..
I went on to other things in college after I graduated..I have 2 masters (1) in early childhood development and the other in special education,,a BA in speech and hearing therapy..I am working on my doctoral as we speak.
I will finish with my next installment....Candi
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Growing up knowing you are female....PART 1
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Posted:Feb 26, 2010 4:16 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:33 pm
4087 Views
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I was hoping that by this time,,that I could have connected with someone on here so I could lean on their shoulder and get this burden off my chest..I have kept this transformation to myself for a lifetime and only shared it with one other person and now she is not in my life any longer..So will have to share it with everyone.
Even before I started to school I wished I was a woman and wondered why I wasn't..Trying on my mothers clothes and sneaking her stockings and panties into my dresser,,,hid under some other things..Waiting till everyone was busy and getting them out,,,feeling the fabric and trying them on..
I wore panties under my clothes for years..Only not wearing them to shop for clothes with the family or going to school..Beginning in high school I bought a wig,,bras,,heels and make-up..I experimented with styles and looks..Paying attention to the girls in school on how they applied the make-up,,,I became pretty good with it..
I bloomed late as far as genitals was concerned,,but my voice never changed,,if anything,,, it got higher..Being a junior in school I began to develop pubic hair and my nipples became larger and more sensitive..My breasts actually started to grow a little and my waist slendered,, with my hips widening and butt protruding out..I was horrified...How was I going to hide this and what was going on?.I was scared to death and worried straight for two years,,hoping no one would find out..Lucky for me,,gym class was for the first 2 years of high school and I was done with that..I couldn't go to the doctor,,everyone would find out,,,I just hid it the best I could..
The summer after high school I was preparing for college..I made up my mind then that I was going to be a woman..Lucky for me that I had a first name that would work for male or female..So after moving into the dorm,,(I brought with me women's clothing),,,I changed into them and never wore men's clothing again..
I went to women's restrooms,,,I showered in women's showers,(usually real early in the morning or late at night to avoid people),,and was easily accepted into the womanhood..No one said anything or hinted that I was male..
By this time,,my breasts were a good solid B-cup and with me wearing low cut tops,,,no one questioned it..I had no beard,,,(never have shaved),,chest hair,,butt crack hair or any of the things that other t-girls struggle with,,only pubes..
It seemed like I was the only person on earth,,no one to talk to about it or even show..Deep down,,,I was tickled to death,,,I was getting my biggest wish ever..
I think I will end here and pick this up later if any one is interested.
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My attention getter!
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Posted:Feb 25, 2010 4:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:33 pm
3949 Views
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Here are some clues as to what gets me going or what I find attractive and want to learn more about.
As the letters keep pouring in,, the qualities of the letter where,, I really sit and read is,,, the size,,composition and sensitivity of it..Addressing to me as a woman and politeness is very alluring to me.
A picture of yourself (face) grasps my attention,but I always read the mail first and then open the picture..The content of the literature is the draw for me..Looks aren't as important as the heart is.
Pictures of your c**K,,assh**e,,ba**s are not appealing to me,,,that is for when we meet and go to bed,,,then I want to see,,feel it all.I did post some pictures of me in my friends album,,,but that is your choice to view them.
Mainly the content of your mail will cause me to respond..One liners,,crude,,rude comments will be deleted.
I love passion,,teasing,,flirting,,soft kisses on the neck,,gentle touches and want the anticipation to grow till we both can't stand it any longer..
A mental bond is most important and sex means so much more when you love your partner and can spend days,,weeks,,months exploring the possibilities.
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A place to post.
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Posted:Feb 23, 2010 3:19 pm
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2011 1:33 pm
5685 Views
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I am making this post so people can comment on my blog..I would be glad to hear any comments.
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To link to this blog (Candigurl2010) use [blog Candigurl2010] in your messages.
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