oddly shaped balls................
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Posted:Mar 31, 2011 1:57 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2012 12:55 pm
11357 Views
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I have been persuaded (two years of badgering more like) into trying my hand at a new sport, nothing strenuous just nice and relaxed.
My first practice session was tonight and its actually more complicated than it looks though did manage to pull off this nice move.
Yes, I have started to play crown green bowling and yes I am 31 years old! But from what my friend said for a first attempt I wasn't that bad.
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Just a quickie
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Posted:Mar 30, 2011 4:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2011 2:56 pm
11030 Views
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Well that certainly got you to look didn't it.
All I needed to do was have a quick rant about how much of a fucktard my boss is,
The man is so stupid he couldn't get a fuck in a brothel, if they were all already on their backs with big signs saying please insert here.
I now feel so much better.
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its a long one....
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Posted:Mar 28, 2011 3:13 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2016 5:00 pm
11037 Views
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I was asked something earlier by a fellow blogger and have been thinking about my response all day. This is what they asked.
But I do wonder the reasons behind your not thinking highly of yourself...
To be honest there are a lot of reasons why my self confidence in my appearance is quite lacking. Over the years I've learnt to hide everthing well and therefore the confidence I portray is possibly the only fake thing about me. But the story involved is a long one so bear with me.
Am I writing this blog to gain attention and seek ego boosting comments to try and make myself feel better, no not at all. Thats why its a read only blog if do have anything to say then please direct it to my inbox.
I was born with congential hip dysplaxia (basically the ball and socket joint in my right hip wasn't formed properly) luckily it was noticed early enough to not need surgery and a body cast, but meant I was late to crawl late to walk late to run. So when i started school, not only had I not interacted with other except for my elder brothers, I was also extremely shit at sports (and still am with some to be fair) in tag games I was always the one on as I was the easy target and could never catch anyone else and always the last to be picked for team games. I also had my thick hair cut into a lovely darth vader helmet style (thanks mum). I tried to make friends but even at four years old, friend clicks had already developed from nursery which I never went to. The boys soon noted that the girls wouldn't talk to me and so began the many years of mental and emotional bullying, luckily though never physical. Every single day they would talk to me if they had to or only to say something nasty. If anyone was ever sincere and friendly then I probably didn't realise as I was to young to know the difference and I became so used to ridcule. Soon though my ineptness at sport and shed loads of crisps and chocolate after school led to me becoming somewhat portly (when I was eight I weighed eight stone and had a 34inch waist) which led to more comments. I just stuck my head in the books and worked I could go for days without talking to anyone except the teacher. Don't know how I even coped with field trips. Unfortunately my mum then decided to have my hair cut short (i protested a lot) no amount of hairspray or pruning could get my hair to stay put I had a permanent bad hair day. Then came the acne. So yes I was slightly fat, spotty and had seriously bad hair. Had even played truant a couple of times because I couldn't face going to school. I had hoped that the start of high school would end most of the abuse due to students from other schools not knowing my history, but no the stupid teachers put me into a form group with the main culprits so nothing stopped, word quickly spread and obviously I still had stupid hair, bad skin and a weight problem. Again I stuck my head in the books and just carried on. After a while I started gaining height and thinned out a bit due to this, I point blank refused to have my hair cut short and let my hair grow. Though still bad skin. College began and luckily there was no one from my high school in my form group, woo hoo a chance to start afresh and I wasn't the only one with bad skin. Thanks to a complete lack of social interaction skills this took longer than I had anticipated, I very rarely saw anyone from high school and if I did, only spoke to those who I believed weren't as bad as the rest and out of the usual circles they were actually nice to me. My crowning glory was actually quitting college after a year to go to a different college. There no one knew me at all, no one knew anything about the bullying. At 17years old I finally had a chance to start again, got my first boyfriend started actually going out as people were inviting me out and thanks to a trip to the doctors my skin was lovely and clear. I was in my own mini heaven friends, a boyfriend, a social life all intermixed with college and even a part time job.
To have a boy younger than you, come up to you in the lunch queue and ask who you are, to be met with their of response 'yeah i already knew that, my brother said you were the ugliest girl in school' after a while you do start to believe it. When you get called ugly and worthless every day the fact becomes more reinforced almost to point of being somewhat innate. I only look in a mirror if I have to, for years I hated the reflection staring back at me. I am the least vain person you could ever know, I own make up but very rarely use it, but know i look a bit better when I do wear it. I have no qualms about nipping to the shop in scruffs and my hair scraped back even with my face covered in dirt and oil from work. Pay me a compliment and I don't know how to take it or how to respond. I'm useless at giving compliments because to me I sound so insincere. I've just learnt to not care about what others think of me if they don't like me then fine thats their choice. Maybe its this very 'don't care' attitude that portrays me as being happy in my appearance.
I am on the very slow road of becoming happy with myself, I'm at the 'hey your not actually as bad as you think' phase I no longer hate looking in a mirror. There is I know a long way for me to go still, but one step at a time. I don't ask for help, if I encounter a problem I knuckle down and just get on with it. Thats what I did, thats what I do now and thats what I'll continue to do. When my house was broken into, my first comment after the cops left was 'ah well at least the house was empty' my dad was dumbfounded he said 'how can you be so calm' my actual response differed greatly to what my mind wanted to say. The only thing I could muster was 'shit happens i deal with it'
Now the part I actually enjoy... Every now and again I bump into those people I went to school with, luckily for me its mainly on nights out where I have got my babs on display, with immaculate (ish) skin with straight long shiny hair in my size 10 jeans with no wobbly bits on show. They however look like dogs, mutton trying to dress as lamb and trying desperately to fit into clothes that are to small for them. As for the men, middle age spread has hit far to early, some hairlines starting to recede and they all try to talk to me as though everything is peachy. Me I look them up and down wrinkle my nose and turn away. I never say it but always think look at you and look at me now.
I am the ugly duckling that is turning into a swan...........
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spam spam and more spam
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Posted:Mar 26, 2011 12:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2011 2:17 am
11507 Views
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Every week on my normal email account I get spam mail, from being asked to being the beneficary of numerous high value african trust funds obviously only after divulging my account details, to emails from banks telling me theres problems in my account, but generally would help if I banked there to start of with. Best one had to be from HM revenue and customs, telling me I was eligible for an income tax refund. For one HMRC will never email you, and I calculate the wages and the monthly PAYE return. I know I get a fair share of weird mails here, but never once did I think I'd get spam to this degree. This is a mail I received today..
Dear beloved friend,
I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search that's why i email you and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.
I am Mrs.J...... B...... from United State of America, I am 58 years old, I am suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, which also affected my brain. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has reached a critical stage.
I was brought up in a motherless baby's home, and was married to my late husband for twenty nine years without a . My husband and I are true Christians, but quite unfortunately, he died in a fatal motor accident. Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $3.2 million dollars with a Bank.Presently, this money is still in their custody, and the management just wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary to come forward to receive the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over as a result of my illness. Presently, I'm in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment.
I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor and the motherless babies home where I come from.
I want your good humanitarian, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around. I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option. I hope you will help see my last wishes come true.My dear I know that you will say why me after reading this message but I want you to understanding that contacting you in this fund is not by my power as you can see that none of us have see each other before, rather contacting you is a divine direction from God that knows the heart of all human beings that he created.
Dear I want you to know that the blessing of God does not count on religions rather on your faithfulness to his commandments and I don't want you to bring apply fears in this call
from God because when fear controls your life,it will reduce the ability of God in you.
God said,I will strengthen and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).Fear not because our good God is on your side and will provide every material things for you in this service,
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you more information on this if you can assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.
Hope to hear from you soonest.
Awaiting your reply to my private email address...........
Yours in Christ,
Mrs.J.... B......
Though Passion are good sometimes,after 10mins profile and mail have been removed for breach of terms and conditions.
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I find myself guilty of the following offence
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Posted:Mar 21, 2011 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2016 5:00 pm
11302 Views
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I have read a couple of blogs about lurkers, those who read blogs but do not comment. From what I'm aware of they're like marmite you either love them or hate them. Well it turns out I'd be classed by some as a lurker though possibly not as bad as others. A lurker minor rather than a lurker major.
True since I started my blog I have enjoyed reading the thoughts of others. Sometimes I have something to say and will comment, sometimes another blogger may have said what I wanted to say so I don't comment as its only a repetition. Generally if I've got something to say then I'll say it, if I don't have anything constructive to say then generally I just shut up.
This is me, it is how I am in real life, my friends love this about me as they can just tell me their problems knowing that any advice given is purely in the best intentions rather than random bullshit said to try and appease them. I don't think this makes me bad person.
For me sometimes just having a 'rant' can do me the world of good, and it can help me to put things into a greater perspective.
So yes I'm a lurker minor and will remain so for the foreseeable future.
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for fucks sake......
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Posted:Mar 21, 2011 2:21 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2012 2:26 pm
10961 Views
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Last wednesday night I enjoyed a couple of drinks with a man whom I'd been chatting to on here had exchanged numbers and I actually thought I'd finally got lucky. For a start he had't cancelled and he actually showed up.... Woo hoo! But more so than this we really got on and it was like we known each other for ages.
So a proper meet was arranged for tonight, but as you possibly tell from me writing this post. He cancelled........
So 69missb goes into robot self protection mode,
pissed off VERY
bitch head on CHECK
extra bricks in the wall around me CHECK
likelyhood of someone getting round my ever growing wall SLIM
tool required to even try JACK HAMMER
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would you.....?
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Posted:Mar 21, 2011 1:33 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2012 2:30 pm
11137 Views
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I was reminded today of an incident that took place a couple of months ago envolving my ex who I will call M and a mutal acquaintance and I will call her S. At the time we all had a mutal male friend who I will call N.
It is important to know that M and I split in 2003 admittedly at the time not on good terms but over the years we've made amends and I class him as one of my good male friends and we both give and seek advice from each other. Now S used to be a good friend but after opening up about a couple of bad life experiences which I generally keep hush hush starting to avoid me. My thought at the time was fine she wants to be like that then I just left her to it and got on with my life. And yes M and N know about the same experiences. But they don't treat me any differently.
Anyway, couple of months ago was chatting to M, and he mentions that he and S had shared a drunken night together, my inital response was 'bet you had a crackin time' bit of an insider joke as S has bad arthritis and can't really do much. But M goes on to reveal that they had both decided to take their friendship further and were actually now dating. S was petrified as to what my reaction would be, my response was 'for gods sake are you being serious, how many years has it been? If your happy M then I'm happy and it'll be a bad case of pot kettle black if I did have an issue as If you remember I started shagging N' despite M giving S this reassurance I still haven't seen her, but M and S have since parted ways. Yes they are still friends.
Its true for me to say though that if it had been 8 weeks or 8 months then I would of been a bit upset, but refer back to me starting a FWB relationship with N. But it was eight years I really didn't care.
So let me ask you all a question would you be happy with an ex and a mutal friend getting it together..... and is time an actual factor?
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couldn't resist
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Posted:Mar 18, 2011 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2012 2:33 pm
11481 Views
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On my way home I saw this registration plate and couldn't resist
Says it all!!!
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what do i say to that?
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Posted:Mar 15, 2011 4:27 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2012 2:34 pm
11005 Views
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I know I don't have the worlds best boss, and hes taken the temporary loss of my licence very well. Five mins after telling him and I was still legal at that point he still lets me out on the open road, in a customers vehicle. Well ordered I initially refused given the circumstances.
So at the end of my first day of biking to work, he sees me get on my bike and says, I'm surprised you not got something attached to the saddle to make the journey more enjoyable for you. I know I'm quite an open person, I've even had new 'purchases' passed around the kitchen at work during lunch time just cause the lads wanted to look. But I was lost for words when he said that, and weirdly have been thinking of ways to actually make my journey that bit more tolerable.
Suggestions anyone.....?
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did I ?
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Posted:Mar 13, 2011 2:01 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2011 10:03 am
11211 Views
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Does anyone else have people say that you've viewed their profile, when you know for a fact that you haven't. I've had about six mails saying that and it always confuses me.
Thou could I just be being a bit thick and the men are using it as a ploy?
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the confessional-update
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Posted:Mar 11, 2011 3:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2011 11:16 am
11003 Views
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Oh deary me....
What arrives in my post today but a letter from the DVLA, appears that they are revoking my licence. No one had ever made me aware of a two year probationary period for new drivers. I was two days short of completing those two years when I made my stupid mistake. Basically from the 14th I will officially a learner again, and have to retake my theory and practical test.
I'm somewhat glad I'll still be able to get to work, although the last time I rode a bike was six years ago.
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another creepy mail/male
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Posted:Mar 9, 2011 11:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2011 4:27 pm
11009 Views
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Some of the mail I receive makes me laugh, some just make me cringe. Another example of the type of message you just shouldn't send or just ones I don't like receiving......
Im S...e who are you hun ?i like a woman who knows what she wants ,,and i want you for keeps .lets jet off xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I don't know if its just my mental mind set, but this just doesn't appeal to me. No I'm not going to tell you who I am, I've already been scared shitless by receiving a mail that included my full name (both first and last name) and to this day I still don't know who he is and never replied to find out. Yes I know what I want and its not you, I'm really going to have to state restrictions on my profile and hope they can read. You want to keep me that screams stalker! I've had two already, luckily I've moved since the first and the second never found out where I lived. I really don't want a third. As much as I need a holiday, I'm not going to hop on a plane with you, sorry. Unless theres two planes and they are going in different directions and yours is one way.
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the confessional
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Posted:Mar 8, 2011 10:35 am
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2015 8:13 am
11053 Views
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A while ago I commited a speeding offence, caught and captured on camera. After months of waiting for the dreaded letter to come through the door. Which it did by way of court summons rather than a fixed penalty, so guess where I've been today... £280 lighter and six points on my licence.
I'm certainly not proud of myself. I didn't even realise what speed I was doing and until the letter came I had also misjudged the roads speed limit which ultimately made my situation worse but there is no excuse for my actions.
There is certainly no way it will ever happen again.
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To link to this blog (69missb) use [blog 69missb] in your messages.
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