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The Un-Gendering of the Soul, stepping out of the box.  

Nakedfun213 60M/58F
48 posts
9/15/2014 12:53 pm
The Un-Gendering of the Soul, stepping out of the box.

Everybody has heard of the expressions "open your mind" and "free your mind" when speaking among other things about sex. Well, there are two different approaches enclosed in these two statements when talking precisely about sex. The first one refers to the ability to lower our constructed barriers and to accept a certain level of experimenting outside of the box. The second predicament, which looks similar but it's not the same, refers to the need of bringing down those barriers for good and letting us to step outside of the box completely. The first one, to open our mind, could be seen as a transition before taking the next broader step, or it could be understood as an attempt to try new things, evaluate them and maybe come back to the safety of the box with the usual outcome of making us believe that we did not like the experience and therefore we will not try it again. In this scenario the second step is never taken and we convince ourselves that the original boundaries must stay in place since they are supposed to be the natural state of things. However, when the second step is taken, things suddenly change for good and a sense of liberation finally settles in our mind. This is what I call the Un-Gendering of the Soul.

Sex can be practiced at a pure physical level, there is no doubt about that. In this case to open your mind and explore different venues is part of the plain physical reality in which we all thrive some way or another. But even when we go ahead and try some limited exploration outside of the box, we are mostly prone to keep some anchors that allow us to stay attached to the social constructs which had been preset almost from birth in our mind and to come back to the box. Meaning that we may try this and that but always return safely to the sexual identity we think we have to project to the outside world and to our own internal self.

On the other hand, sex can also be experienced at a deeper spiritual level when the participants tend to establish a strong link between their souls. This can be achieved only when we are able to reach climatic points by extracting the same type of physical and emotional pleasure from the others entangled together in the same sexual activity. Once we realize the vast spectrum of experiences that opening this door provides to everyone, there is no coming back to the limitations existing within the boundaries of the box. The gender of the person receiving our attention stop being an issue because we feel connected to that person, because we want that person to feel a climatic sensation and because we will also feel satisfied by reaching this objective of getting pleasure by providing pleasure to someone you care for. At the same time we must follow the flow and let the others, no matter what gender they are, to do the same to us, because we understand that they will be pleasured by pleasuring us as well. This total freedom of doing what you want, feeling what others feel, and engaging in a mutual rendering of any imaginable and unimaginable type of pleasure among all the participants without gender restrictions, becomes the true liberation of our sexual mind.

This liberation of our sexual mind is part of the task of freeing our soul from the box. It is one of the way to overcome the social barriers and taboos imposed by the external framework and artificially adopted by our own internal identity. Some of us are not yet ready and even may feel proud of that closeted state of mind when they refuse to even try it. They simply don't see the point and prefer to look outside of the box only through the narrow filtering windows exposed for them through the biased media for them to judge and criticize and to stay away from any discordant note sanctioned by the social framework. However, in my experience, many of us are actually willing to cross the border given the right circumstances, not just to explore and see how the world looks outside of the box, but actually to feel and enjoy being part of that free space. And again, once that step is taken, it becomes a mind blowing experience which destroys the box entirely and for good.

The Un-Gendering of the Soul is this process of freeing our own identity from the sexual restrictions imposed by the conditioning of a biological form to a socially expected behaviour. A man is expected to enjoy sex only with a woman, to be the dominant factor, the penetrator, and a woman is supposed to like being pleasured only by a man, to play the submissive female role and to be at the receiving end most of the time. These social constructs embedded deeply in our sexual identities conform the box, the limits, the boundaries, and anything outside that box is the forbidden, the taboos, the things that threaten the very essence of who we are, both our projection to the outside world and to the internal mirror where we see ourselves. Therefore stepping outside of the box may seem like an enormous risk, something extremely hard to achieve. But in reality, once it's understood that everything we have been told about sexual orientations, preferences and identities are just pure inventions created in order to make the current social framework functioning as expected, it becomes almost the natural thing to do.

Let's imagine the following scenario. A same sex friend of yours has a bad accident and is not able to use his or her hands because they are both bandaged. This situation will not be resolved for a long time. The person needs help with everything, getting dressed, going to the toilet and you are the closest helper in sight. The friendship between you both runs very strong and you are willing to do things that could be embarrassing for both, if it is a male, you as a man feels a little awkward having to change his clothes or hold his penis while he is urinating and that kind of things, the same if it is a female and you are a woman having to wipe her vagina and helping her in the shower. But then one day there is a very hot conversation between you both about sex and the person ask you for a great favour, he or she needs help masturbating. It has been many weeks already in this situation and it's becoming unbearable for him or for her, especially if it is happening at a young age. What would you do under the circumstances? If you want to keep everything strictly in the box you will obviously deny him or her the favour. The taboo weights too heavy inside your mind and you prefer to leave your friend in misery rather than step outside of the box, even for just once. Or maybe you will consider the gravity of the situation, make an excuse to yourself for doing something against your principles based only on compassionate circumstances and go ahead and do it just once. During the act you feel repulsion, avoid eye contact and when finished you rush to the bathroom to wash your hands. Or maybe you really care for that friend of yours so much that you would like that person to have an enjoyable experience, so you go beyond the impersonal strokes and feel his/her body in a sensual way so the climax is reached in a more natural and pleasant environment.

These three different choices mark the distinct degrees of self confidence, real love for the friend and your own courage to cross the borders and drive on the left lane. What would you finally do will depends on these three factors. However, the outcome will be different. In the first choice both you and your friend are kept safe inside the box. In the second one you both had opened your minds to agree at least for one time to step outside of the box and see what happens. At the end you both may come back to the box with the excuse of the uniqueness of the specific situation. But at least one border had been crossed once and it could lead to more experimenting in the future if both are willing to explore the other side. The third option would definitively help in the process of freeing your minds. The barriers were brought down and the comfortable feeling of achieving a pleasurable state was mutual even when only your friend was the one who reached the climax under your manipulations.

This hypothetical scenario is a forcible factor, I agree, but just playing it in our imagination gives us an idea of how far would we be willing to go in breaking the rules of the box for satisfying the need of a dear friend. If this connection exists, if the souls are truly surfing the same empathy wave, then you will be able to understand the need for the Un-Gendering of the Soul. We are not talking about a romantic engagement with that same sex person, which may or not happen later on, but just about a special type of friendship with benefits and no other string attached. If we added more emotional factors to the relationship it would obviously become a little more complicated, but we could make it stay at the level of just really good friends who may have romantic relationships with others and who also enjoy good times together, alone or in the company of one or more of the other romantic partners.

In summary, the Un-Gendering of the Soul, even at a friendship level without a romantic engagement, is a necessity if we truly want to step outside of the box and experience sex in a new broader realm, free of taboos and socially imposed restrictions, exploring the vast diversity of pleasures and reaching the point where we finally get there where we are supposed to be, free souls navigating the sea of life following only our true will and the pursue of happiness for everyone.


funalex2010 59M
259 posts
9/30/2014 4:36 pm

Another excellent post. I agree that the soul is and should be gender-less. However is the soul truly interested in physical sex at all?
Thank you very much for the continuing discussion; I look forward to becoming more and more enlightened...


Nakedfun213 60M/58F
20 posts
10/6/2014 4:31 pm

The soul needs pleasure to pursue happiness and the physical sex just gets unlimitedly expanded when it is part of a real connection with other souls.


Nakedfun213 60M/58F
20 posts
7/17/2020 1:19 pm

If you want to contact me please send me an email to r.naturist at gmail


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