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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
You Fuck Like a Freight Train....
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You Fuck Like a Freight Train.... And you snore like one, too.  Here's an interesting little tidbit: someone once told me that men who snore are purported to be better Lovers. Of course, the same dude also told me that swallowing 8 ounces of sperm at least three times a week would reduce my risk of breast cancer by 40%. I told him I'd rather scrape the shit from inside my cars tailpipe, smoke it, and finish with a formaldehyde chaser. He didn't think that was funny. But we've all heard those funny little myths, haven't we? Big feet --> big penis (Not in my experience) Blonde hair --> easy lay (My blonde friends are EMPHATICALLY frigid. Ask their husbands- I'm sure they're on this site) East Indian Bloggers--> sexual dynamos (Anyone care to refute this? Didn't think so )What other funny myths have you guys heard recently? Are men who snore actually better Lovers? Does asparagus really change the taste of sperm? Does pineapple leave you with a fruity and fresh fun zone? Does a lack of good sex turn you into a prolific blogger? Wait...ignore that last one. When it comes to penis size, it's all about a man's hands. The thumbs, in particular. The shape- long and thin, short and stubby, etc.- is a good indicator of what he's lacking or packing. It's never steered me wrong- that much I can tell you. Of course, my test sample group might be a bit on the meager side- I see far more thumbs than I do penises. Hey, wait! Maybe you guys could help me complete my research! And since I know one of you cheeky bastards will suggest it, no, I will NOT practice some preventative medicine while I'm down there, lol. That is, unless you happen to be an Olympic hitchhiker  .When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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gottaring replies on 1/4/2012 1:57 pm: It's not a matter of erect vs. flaccid (at least I don't think it is). Help me out here: If your thumb is short and stubby, I'm correlating that your penis will be more girth than length (not that it will be SMAL. Likewise, if you have long, thin thumbs, you're packing a licorice twist- not a can of Starkist tuna. Does that make sense? Is anyone else craving lunch right now? Well if I have learned anything from the big bang theory (and past science classes). You need to be a little more spacific if you want accurate results. Short and stubby can be pretty objective. Besides I don't know how to classify my thumbs. 
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Given that my sample size of lovers is so small I'm not sure I can contribute much. I've never had sex with an East Indian blogger so I have no idea if they are sexual dynamos. The one woman I've sort of been with that I know snored was actually very good at what we did do. But since there was no actual intercourse I can't say for sure. Great kisser though. I've never been with a blond woman before. so if they actually are easy then I'm doing something really wrong. I don't know if lack of good sex makes you a prolific blogger. But since I suffer from a total lack of sex you can use me as a sample for that one. I'd help you check your thumb theory. The only question is are you looking to compare erect or flaccid penis'?
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a spectacular gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. As if his prayers were answered, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. The Annual Sexual Education Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was this most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for sex education! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said. "What myths are those?" "Well," she explained. "One popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto" the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba." 
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Asparagus and garlic come out in the cum - and not in a good way, male or female. I've seen a bunch of articles on relative finger length, but I've not seen the correlates done scientifically. That is to say, self reported male member size is unreliable. No surprise there.  If you directed my tongue to your pleasure then my it wouldn't be in my cheek .
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Um, you measure the thumb starting at the wrist right? 
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That's negative Ghost Rider on the men that snore are great lovers...at least in my experience. I'm with Softsheets on the pineapple. It works wonders on the gentlemen. They all need to be informed of this. Oh, and I wanted to thank you. NOW I'm going to be looking at every man's thumb thinking about what he's packing. Lol. "For a woman there is nothing more erotic than being understood." ~ Molly Haskell Read about Me Being Naughty o-o
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1/2/2012 9:27 pm |
haha maybe you should. like i said i would be interested. send me a message to my profile so we can chat
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1/2/2012 7:38 pm |
lol an experiment? sure i will help you...
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gottaring replies on 1/2/2012 9:09 pm: Never heard that, but I'd be surprised if it's true. Then again, I'm the exception to a lot of rules. For instance, I don't own any gas stations and I've never driven a cab. But I have heard that if your second toe is longer than your big toe, it means you are destined for great wealth. And that people who have flat feet are more intelligent than those who pronate within normal range. No no... Pakistanis drive cabs. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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alrighty there smarty panties. seeing as my profile pic gives you a chance to test out this theory. what do you figure i am packing? and please exaggerate for the sake of my ego.
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I don't snore, have small hands, and proportionate thumbs, but am still willing to undergo extensive research in capable hands. I am all thumbs! Thoughts from the Garden...
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1/2/2012 6:02 pm |
Just a few I've heard: Women who smoke are easy lays. I haven't dated many women who smoke but it was true for me. One of them described it as an oral fixation she had. Women with tramp stamps are tramps. Not as accurate but they are probably easier than non-stamped women. Present company excepted. Men who put on Badger uniforms can't win a bowl game. I just heard this one.
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I've got small hands. Small feet, too. Have you heard the one about the length of the ring finger compared to the length of the index finger? Not really a myth, since studies indicate that if the ring finger is longer, the person tends to be more sexually aggressive. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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