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Thoughts at 4am (when I can't sleep)!
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Thoughts at 4am (when I can't sleep)! You know, after being married first for 7 years (only together 4)and second for 10 years, I wonder...For 10 whole years I was in a marriage with a man with whom I was not sexually compatible. Then, after so much time, my sex drive went away. I had my , my job, my parents and sister, life in general. So, now, I'm single, approaching menopause quickly, and NOW I have a sex drive! I don't get it. Being raised in an old-fashioned, religious home, I was supposed to wait until marriage for sex. So, at my age, I still have nagging thoughts that go back to my youth about my sexuality. After my divorce, when I wasn't dating, my sex drive went to sleep! lol! So, now, I'm dating...and I ask myself - how do I get a man that will respect me; yet satisfy my needs? As I said in an earlier post, it's like 2 categories. So, most men tell me, at my age, "We're adults! Sex is part of it!" And it makes sense, but it's like something changes after you give them a part of yourself. What happens if I'm looking for friendship or a relationship? Do I want to destroy that by having sex too soon? But then, again, I also have needs myself, being a woman with a lot of sexual, passtionate energy. So, you know, I just don't know. With my ex-boyfriend, since we were friends first, it was like 3 months before anything sexual at all happened. And by the time it did, we already cared for one another. So, it was a whole different thing. Back to my earlier post, just go with the flow? Take each date as it comes? hmmmmm....Do I even trust myself? Obviously, I joined Passion for a reason, but sex is not the ONLY reason...I really do want friendship/companionship, a relationship, & sex. I really like being monogamous. I like being a "couple." Not saying I want to rush into marriage again...but just being with someone special is, well, special. So, as I said before...I just don't know!!! Where is the balance? I guess it comes down to "self-control." That's the only thing I can think of. And who's great with self-control when it comes to sex???  TAT1964 |
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Hi tike1964, yes you do want to take it easy and not jump into bed too quickly and also not string the guy along so since you are grown up throw your old teachings aside and follow your desires.Listen to that voice inside,if you desire him and want him go for it.Life is too short to be ruled by strict rules and requirements.Have fun and take care
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I think you are thinking to much about when it is ok to have sex rather than what kind of guy do you want to meet. If you meet the right man, the sex will happen when it should. If you date men who want to treat you like a sex object, then it wont matter how long you wait, once you both have sex, you will onlt hear from him when he wants sex. A man that is asking you to meet in his hotel room, or somewhere where sex is most likely to occur, then he is most likely not looking to get to know you in a way you seem to want. A man who plans activities that does not revolve around sex, takes the time to learn what you enjoy, and doesnt talk about sex non-stop most likely is someone you can go with the flow with. Once again, follow your instints, and follow your body; it is a special gift.
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