Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rm_events > Blog contests! |
Worst Date Ever Writing Contest
|
(no names, only alphabet: Person A, Person B, Person C) Boyfriend breaks up, via electronic/mobile phone SMS means. Boyfriend continues his promise (as previouly set and planned with me) to meeting up with "Person A," A's gal pal, A's daughter to see a band performance. Not happening as former Boyfriend feigns the following day's golf tourney, feels he can't go to the show and wins out with a close by corner bar meet instead. An early night! (HA) I realise this commitment was still too soon from electronic/SMS break up. (less than a week) Things go poorly. (after all, days earlier we were proclaiming our love for one another) I feel guilty knowing there was some better resolve to the entire effort/relationship, and evening! I, mid-travel to home, remember he's mentioned he's not going anywhere (as in both, early golf and "I'm not going anywhere" in a comfort effort) and having spent a HUGE amount of time in his household to have clothing, fav soaps, food, convenience cosmetics in same..... stops over to apologise, sincerely. In person. I find this man is not home. I am shocked. I am stunned..... I text the ex Boyfriend. He returns he is out to find Person B (another woman that I do know) to fuck her. Blows me further out of anything that could even be gleened as rational. I pace. I need the good evening air to gain composure. I shortly receive drunken, screaming, harrassing phone calls from another, "Person C," that never had my personal mobile telephone number. Numerous times. (I can only believe that Person C got my private mobile number from the ex Boyfriend, now at a different bar until closing -- 2:30 a.m.). I am now fully angered. Imagine that! Under the guise of a 6:00 a.m. golf tourney, for his father's church, with with his father (!!!!!!!) I miss and blow "Person A" off and, did I mention, a GREAT musical performance! -Not only, I miss dear friend "Person A" and the tremendous honour of meeting "Person A's" daughter and gal pal, this ex Boyfriend manipulated this blow off. -Not only, I miss a face melting musical performance. (Have I mentioned that enough?!) -Not only [!], I face insult of the worst variety and phone harassment by a drunk "Person C" .... which, btw, is prosecutable by law. All within the same evening. Right. No need to be upset, eh? "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." -Groucho Marx
| ||
3/1/2008 8:55 pm |
If you want to get to know a man...humma...just take him to a bar and tequila him..lol.. oh what a horrible mess...the bar was 45 miles away, too...he danced on tables, touched other womens breast while they were with their man...went in to the girls bathroom...and made embarrassing remarks out loud thinking no one could here him... Yet, on the way home...asking to use the bathroom.....he actually stood out on one foot, holding one foot inside and pi-st out the door. afraid I would leave him behind (knowing me to well). I just punched the gas a little....the door knocked him down and he rolled down this bank...yes.....I did take him home.... ..tequila is the truth sermon...from hell. He revealed way too much....that was the end... 
| ||
3/1/2008 8:52 pm |
I was meeting this guy from Passion for a cup of coffee at the local diner. I pulled up in the parking lot about ten cars away. (Good Thing!) I got out of my car and was greeted by a man wearing spandex biker shorts and a dirty t-shirt with holes tucked into the shorts. Yes this date was this year not in the eighties. I didn't want to be mean and just run. I said, lets go have a cup of coffee. We go to walk into the diner and he tells me he forgot his wallet. I took this as a sign to get out of the date. I told him I had only keys and a phone. I tried to to escape. He insisted he wanted to show me something else. I couldn't imagine what... I told him I didn't really need to see anything else. I got into my car and proceeded to leave with him pleading with me to roll down my window. When I looked up he had pulled the spandex down to unveil the thong he was hiding under those attractive spandex.
| ||
|
here I was a hotshot kid form the north going to university. My friend set me up with his girlfriend's friend for a halloween date. She. my date wore a mask and refused to remove it all night. So I really didnt know who she was, until winter came and we planned a trip into ski country. Sure enough my first blind date was coming and I was going to meet her. Its a good thing Im a patient person because She belittled herself all the time, and seemed to be out of her space.... Im not sure. We slept together and we had some good friction going abd she would say "How much pep have you got baby....and I would seem to be being measured, or compared. It was a bit hard to face her cuz she wasnt anyone who I really wanted to date, but I was just a spunk filled sophomore and she got free lessons for the weekend on the hill and a good evening of affection and some sheet-kicking off oral pleasure before being treated to a skier's idea of a wet spot making run.  overall I wasnt with a person who I really wanted, she and I knew it but it was co-ed sex and skiing, so we both got kicks .
| ||
|
My worst date ever..It was several years ago, I met him on Passion. He seemed really nice and we hit it off really well. We decided to meet, but he lived in Indiana so he had a good days drive from where he was to get here. We'd made plans to go out to dinner with another couple we had been chatting with here that lived in my area. When he arrived we immediatly left for the restaurant. The other couple had already arrived and we removed our coats and sat down. As the evening progressed I began noticing a fowl smell and wasn't sure where it was coming from, then my date raised his arm to motion over the waitress and I thought i was going to gag. OMG doesn't this man use deoterant I thought? It was horrible and the other couple could tell I was turning green around the gills. Finally I excused myself and asked the other lady if she would join me and went to the restroom. I told her what I smelled and she said she smelled it too and was wondering where it was coming from. Both disgusted and I not wanting to return to the table we stood there talking and began laughing about it. Can you imagin a grown man not using deoderant? It's disgusting to say the least. Well we returned to the table laughing histarically, yet unable to share why. We did have a lovely dinner and the other couple were great people to share an evening with, but now I had to get back into this mans car and head back to my place. It was horrible, after a 30 minute drive home we get there and stand outside talking, when finally I tell him that although I had a lovely evening I was ending the date here. I did feel bad as he did drive a long ways to get here so I did offer him my couch for the night but told him there would be nothing else. He asked me why and I couldn't stay quiet about it any longer so I told him I couldn't stand the way his hygene was offensive to me. He got upset, called me a bitch and left. Hey at least I was honest with him. Come on use some common since man use deoderant. Passion_Desired
| ||
3/1/2008 1:05 pm |
I love your story...Omg..I laughed soo hard!!
| ||
3/1/2008 12:54 pm |
Worst date, I thought I had had some rather mild in the bad department until this past fall. The guy and I had exchanged pictures for a month approximately and do to our jobs and his vehicle situation (truck was awaiting parts) we finally set a date before a month and two weeks. The calls and chats were wonderfully funny and we loved each others sense of humor. He seemed fit and just a ball of southern charm. We live approximately 140min away from each other and so the meet was going to set alot forward as far as fueling or diffusing our relationship potential. The date came up...I had a convention for my job near his residence, the rest of the afternoon was left for us. I am in professional attire and figure all is well...until I drive to his condo and see that he is in workout attire. I am greeted by a pat in the back with no eye contact and face his back as he leads me to his condo. In his condo I am introduced to his female roomate. I wait on the guest couch as he talks to a guy who he tells he "loves" in a rather sheepish way. I notice this weird exchange because, while I sit on this couch by myself...he and his roomate continue carrying on as if I am not there. He then excuses himself to shower and after about 30 min. we leave. Ironically, I follow his supposedly broken-down truck. We get to the bar and he orders tuna salad with so much onions and potatoe salad that my eyebrows excuse themselves. The bartender gives me an odd look. Then beautiful marines start carrying on in the back and my dates eyes do an about face and linger...Hmmm, gay?! Yep folks, I was a stand in date for a homosexual who was in the closet...needless to s(t)ay I addressed the lack of something and gathered up what little dignity I had left. The signs were blatant near the end...flattered, no way....A Fag Hag is a Fag Hag!!!
| ||
|
I met the “gentleman” online as that is the popular thing to do these days and we corresponded back and forth. I was told that the gentleman that was to pick me up was educated, well versed, well dressed, and about 6’0” tall ‒ just my size. I suggested that we meet for a drink and he offered to pick me up but, I agreed to meet him at a local store parking lot to be on the safe side. The man that met me was anything but- he was no taller than 5’6” that is WITH his heeled cowboy boots on; in a pair of polyester pants that were in style for a flood watch, a plaid cowboy shirt and a polka dot bow tie leaning against a new Bronco. Well my mother taught me never to be rude and took keep promises and appointments. SO, I smiled politely and suggested that we go to the restaurant across the street from the parking lot. I told him that I could drive and that he could follow that way he could leave from there. He claimed that he was short on gas and would like to ride with me. GREAT! We get in my car and I head to the restaurant. In the car, he told me how sexy I was and attempted to place a hand on my thigh. Brushing it off, I noticed a distinct smell - one that resembled a person stepping in some un- scooped shit. As I parked the car, I opened the door and discreetly checked the bottom of my shoes ‒ just to make sure. Nope not me ‒ checked the passenger side carpets in case it was him. Nothing. Inside, I order a glass of wine and he ordered “Sex on the beach” waggled his eyebrows and said “this is going to be how we end the evening” ‒ I almost choked on a gulp of wine. That distinct smell of shit was still pungent in the air. Trying to ignore it, I attempted small talk with him, and in the middle of the conversation ‒ it got worse. It was stronger with a sour addition. I, then, felt something damp on my inner thigh moving upwards and the smell was stronger than ever. I hurriedly pushed my chair back to find that this man had removed his boot and placed his sweaty foot on my thigh. Trying to control my gag reflects, as I realized that one person could smell that bad, I asked what the fuck did he think that he was doing. The gentleman smiled showing a nasty row of yellow teeth and informs me that women love his foot action. I promptly tossed back my drink (still standing) as the waitress approached holding a discreet hand to her nose, because she too smelled the funk, I handed her $5.00 for my drink and told him that I was leaving and that I hoped he had a lovely life. He asked how was he going to get home ‒ I told him that his car is just across the street, a short walk. He then told me that he took the bus there and was hoping that we would end up at his house for a little sex on his personal beach. The guy lived in an apartment complex ‒ so I am sure that meant his dirty ass apartment floor or bed. I grimaced and declined the offer and told him that a bus will be by soon. He then looked outraged and said “Well aren’t you at least going to buy my drink after I came all this way to see your ass? This is the 2000’s!” I looked him over in disgust and then at the waitress and told her “We are going Dutch on the bill, keep the change for my drink,” and walked out. Sweetest Choclit "Melts in your mouth and in your hand" (prefer the mouth though!)
| ||
3/1/2008 11:21 am |
After being divorced for several years I decided to start dating again,I mean I'm more mature but not dead. I invested in the wonderful world of online dating and finally made a connection with someone that didn't seem like a total dick head. We emailed for several months like the program suggested and finally decided we should meet. (yeah I'm not sure why we didn't do phone calls first. I truly thought he was probably married which didn't bother me.) So we decided to do the romantic old movie thing and he would be sitting in this local resturant and have a daisy on the table to identify him. This sparked my interest even more, lets face it I'm a romatic at heart. So the day of the date I did the usual, pedicure, manicure, wax a cure..lol.. well some people get lucky.lol. The time came I got in my car and drove to the resturant, walked in all nervous and jittery. Talked to the greeter and asked if someone was there with a daisy on his table. She beemed, oh yes there is.. I was almost to the point of not looking but I could help myself. I followed her to the table...... and my mouth fell open. Who of all people was there with a daisy on his table but MY EX HUSBAND. I didn't know weather to laugh or throw up. Needless to say the night ended there and we both walked out trying to pretend it never happened... Funny, I've wondered for years if this was the m.o. he used to meet all the women he was fooling around on me with?...
| ||
3/1/2008 11:20 am |
It was a New Years eve set up with a friend and his girlfriend as a double date. We all met and had an early dinner then out to a dance club. My date was dull and very introverted as I had to ask her every question I could think of to learn about her, she never would open up about anything. Then she started drinking and loosened up alittle and became the light of the party, dancing and she was GOOD! We were getting along better and better and she told me how much fun she was having, I believe the alcohol was helping her. Midnight came and she was holding two drinks, I leaned in for the traditional New Years kiss and she turned away. She turned back and spilled her drinks upon me somewhat accidently. We sat down to her apologizing and during that time she downed three more drinks. As the club was closing she became more and more ill, (drunk). We got out to the parking lot and she stars losing her meal and drinks before we get to the car. Our friends had abandoned us and left so I had to take this woman home. She was so drunk she could not tell me where she lived in a very large city, so I just started driving around to see if she could recognize any land marks. Just as she is recalling some places she barfs in the front floor board of my car and passes out! I thought she'd left everything back in the parking lot she'd consumed throughout the night, but no! There was so much it started to make me ill! I finally find a cop at a convenience shop, (eating a donut) and explain to him my situation. He gives me a field sobriety test of which I passed as I'd stopped drinking at eleven and it was not three thirty in the morning. My date lie in her own mess as the cop searches her purse for identification. He helps me find her house and leads me there and then leaves me in the driveway to her house. I carry her to her door and open it using her keys as then I'm met by her huge dog that tries to take my leg off! I get her in through the door and sat down upon the stairs to the second level and leave her with her dog to help her. It's 5:30am now and I find a car wash to clean out my floor board before the 70 mile trip back home. I have to drive through the 45 degree below zero weather back home as the aroma of what my date left behind lingered too strongly for me drive without getting the urge to upchuck myself. I had to sell my car and never heard from her ever again. New Years eve, 2004
| ||
|
its wayyyy too hard to find people's posts on here! this is ridiculous! i hope you don't do this again next time! i got such a head-ache searching i decided not to even vote! I bet if you have a survey poll on this..no one likes it! *sigh* ..just join me on my blog bustybettyboop and still looking for some hot,sexy,creative contestants for my next contest...come join us! need a blog mentor or want to be one? 
| ||
3/1/2008 7:53 am |
I met him on Y chat. He had im'd me & his name was similar to another friend's , so I was chatting back b4 I realized my mistake. When I did, we laughed & decided to go out. We made plans, He waould come by & pick me up. He was late, by quite a bit, finally called & was on his way. When he showed up we talked a minute then I asked could we run & get ice for the house b4 we left? So off we go to Sonic, get the ice & head back to the house.I get out & take the ice in, & he drives off!I walk back to the front door in time to see him driving away.
| ||
|
One day i seen a naithbour lady was lying on the bed.she is crying because it pain on the back.she tell me a massage.i was oiling in back she was lagughing.i touch the body it was too hot.suddenly she hold my penis.i was surprised.i am too exited.then my penis hole in vergin.i like that .up and down.
| ||
3/1/2008 3:11 am |
1970, Hot August evening, took my date to the local parking spot which was a dirt road in the middle of a corn field at a mental hospital. A pitch dark night. We were in the back seat, radio on, her bra and my pants off. Life was good. All of a sudden she says... "Listen, I hear some thing". Only thing I could hear was my throbing hard-on. I leaned over the seat, & turned the radio down. Sure enough, the sound of running feet on a dirt road. I fumbled trying to find the head light switch. we were staring through the wind shield into total darkness. When I finally turned on the head lights, 15 feet away, was the face of a huge black man, running full speed. He had no idea there was a car in the middle of the dirt road. Immediately, she started an ear pearcing scream & did not stop the entire time. His body hit the hood then his face hit the wind shield like a ton of bricks. We struggled finding our clothes. Huge black man was on the ground, out-cold, not breathing? She said you have to give him mouth to mouth. I said no way that is your job (she was a nurse in training). We argued the point "your job", "no your job". Back and forth, ready to flip a coin. Finally he started to move but was incoherent. We put him in the back seat, drove up to the "big house", and dumped him on the front steps then left. Lorain and I never dated again, but I did keep her bra. 10 years later, I see her at a party with her husband. We did not speak, except across the room she mouthed the words "your job". I did the same.
| ||
3/1/2008 2:51 am |
Me parece bien, genial
| ||
3/1/2008 2:21 am |
Worst Date Ever Writing Contest Worst Date Ever Writing Contest I was young and inexperienced, and this woman took me under her wing and introduced me to the wonderful world of toys. Unfortunately for me, she decided to try something new on me that continues to cause nightmares to this day. She took me to a local sex shop to point out various items. For our first encounter, she wanted me to experience the pleasure of using a cock ring for the first time. We went back to her place, and she tutored me in things that I was unaware of and when the time was right, I put on the cock ring. The feeling was amazing. Once I became fully erect and expanded within the ring, I felt like I had never felt before and believed that I could break the solid metal ring that rested at the base of my unit. I felt like I was a God. I was young and never had a woman climax three times for me before. I couldn't believe the hour had passed and I had yet to cum. We rested for a few minutes and there my member was, continuing to be fully erect, and I thought that the cock ring may be doing its job. I soon found out it was all too well.... Within a few minutes I could tell that the tip was beginning to get tender. Something I hadn't realized when I was pounding my 'tutor'. She tried to blow me to get me to cum and to give herself a bit of rest as well. Something didn't feel right. I couldn't cum. She tried everything she could think of to get me to cum, but now the tenderness became pain and my unit was turning shades of red I hadn't seen before. Of course, we couldn't get the cock ring off. Afraid of what may happen, we called 911. By the time they arrived, I felt like my cock was going to explode. I don't remember the following taking place, but because the paramedics couldn't get the ring off and due to the pain, they had to act fast. My 'tutor' later told me that they had to use a syringe to prick my prick and extract some of the blood so I could lose the erection. I guess it was better I recall the finer points of the night....
| ||
|
OK PEOPLE HOW ABOUT A (DATE DRUG )MY FIRST DATE OFF THIS SITE CHATTED WITH A GUY FOR A FEW MONTHS HE INVITES ME TO HIS HOUSE I GO ITS ABOUT 4:30PM WEEK NIGHT I WAS TO GO ON CALL AT 11PM SO I DID NOT HAVE ALL NIGHT FOR THIS DATE TO GO ON I WANTED TO BE HOME BY 11PM SO HE OFFERS ME A DRINK IT WAS A BEER THATS COOL BUT I NEW I COULD ONLY HAVE MAYBE MAX 3 UNTILL 11PM WHICH I WANTED TO BE HOME SO WE ARE GETTING ALONG REALLY WELL.WE WAS HAVING A BALL I THOUGHT WOW THIS GUY IS A KEEPER SO NICE SWEET VERY GOOD LOOKING SO WE ARE JAMMING TO SOME MUSIC I HAD 2 BEERS IN ABOUT 2 HRS SO HE SAYS LETS RIDE TO THE STORE TO GET SOMETHING MUCH STRONGER I SAID OK SO WE WENT HAD A NICE HOME A NICE NEW BMW I THOUGHT EVERY THING WAS GREAT UNTILL WE GOT BACK TO HIS PLACE HE SAID HEY TRY 1 OF MY DRINKS I SAID OK JUST 1 SO I AM DRINKING THE DRINK I LOOK AT THE CLOCK ITS ABOUT 9PM SO THE NEXT THING I NO I WAKE UP IN HIS BED ABOUT 12AM HEARING HIM SAY YOU GOT TO GO. YOU GOT TO GO. I DID NOT NO WHAT WAS GOING ON I DONT REMUBER ANY THING HE IS DRESSING ME SO I LEVE GET IN MY CAR I DONT KNOW HOW I MADE IT HOME BUT WHEN I GOT THERE MY DAUGHTER AND MY LANDLORD HELP ME IN THE DOOR THEY JUST THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK BUT I WAS NOT DRUNK HE PUT SOMETHING IN MY DRINK TO FUCK ME UP AND IT WORKED!!!! SO I GO TO BED THANK GOD I DID NOT GET CALLED INTO WORK THAT NIGHT. THE NEXT DAY MY DAUGHTER SAYS TO ME MOM HOW DID YOU DRIVE HOME I SAID ERICA I DONT NO SHE SAID YOU WAS FUCKED UP WE FOUND YOU AT THE DOOR TRYING TO GET IN FOR ABOUT 10MINS SO WE COME TO SEE WHAT WAS AT THE DOOR SO WE HELPED YOU IN AND PUT YOU TO BED I SAID TO HER I ONLY HAD 2 BEERS FROM 4:30PM TO 9 AND 1 MIXED DRINK AFTER THAT AND DONT REMUBER DRINKING IT ALL SO I LET THINGS GO THINKING WHAT THE HELL WENT ON. SO ABOUT 2 DAYS LATER ME AND MY 20 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WAS SITTING AT MY COMPUTER LOOKING AROUND ON THE COMPUTER AT SOME JOKES I GOT ON MY EMAIL I GOT 1 FROM THIS GUY THAT I WAS WITH AND SOME NACKED PICTURES OF ME NONE OF HIM BUT HIS COCK INSIDE ME I WAS ALL OILED UP HE WAS ME AND TAKING PICTURES I WAS COLD FUCKIN OUT MY FACE WAS BLUE AND REAL RED LIKE HE HAD HIS HANDS AROUND MY NECK OR SOMETHING I WAS IN SHOCK THEN ME AND MY DAUGHTER SAID OMG I JUST START CRYING I SAID TO HER I DID NOT DO THAT FOR HIM I NO NOTHING THAT WENT ON SO I PICKED UP THE PHONE AND CALLED HIM HE SAID HEY YOU GET THEM PICTURES I SENT YOU I THOUGHT YOU MAY LIKE THEM I SAID YOU MOTHER FUCKER YOU ME AND DRUGED ME HE OH NO YOU AND ME FUCKED LIKE DOGS I SAID NO WE DID NOT I DONT REMUBER ANY THING HE SAID YA YOU WAS PRETTY DRUNK I SAID I ONLY HAD 2 BEERS AND THE MIX DRINK YOU MADE ME HE SAID WHAT YOU TRYING TO SAY I SAID YOU NO WHAT YOU DONE HE SAID I DID NOTHING I SAID I HAVE THE PICTURES YOU JUST SENT ME HE SIAD WELL FUCK YOU DONT LIKE THEM DELET THEM I SAID FUCK YOU BUDDY SO I CALLED A POLICE FRINED I NO HE SAID OMG YOU NO WHAT THIS GUY HAS DONE I SAID YES I NO NOW I WAS SO SCARED HE SAID LETS PUT THIS MAN IN JAIL I SAID NO I AM NOT 1 TO CAUSE TROUBLE I CANT GO THOUGH THIS SHIT I WILL GET OVER IT AND I HAVE UNTILL NOW WHEN I SAW THAT Passion WANTED TO HEAR THE WORST DATE YOU EVER HAD!!!WELL THIS WAS MINE OH I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND EVERY THING WAS OK.SO BEEN VERY PICKY WHO I MEET THEN I AGREE TO MEET A GUY OFF HERE WHO I BEEN DATING FOR 8 MONTHS NOW AND I AM VERY HAPPY WITH HIM I GUESS IT MAY HAD PAYED OFF TO STAY ON THIS SITE NOT EVERY BODY ID BAD..TAKE CARE PEOPLE BE SAFE..PAULINE
| ||
|
My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now. When we were together for about 3 months we were hanging out, when he asked if we could go in the shower together. I agreed and we went. We were feeling extasy and amzing orgasms shooting down our bodies. I then All of a sudden PASS OUT!!! Wow was I ever embarrased. The heat,steam and passion got to me. My legs went weak as he sucked on my clit and BAM down I went!!! I have never been SO embarrarssed but as it turns out, we are STILL together and havin the best sex and exploring EACH OTHER!!!YUM!!!
| ||
|
A few years back,just after my divorce, I meet a friends step-granddaughter that just moved in with him and her grandma.She's a hot little 25 year old redhead that just got divorced also.She seems real friendly but I don't ask her out because I'm 13 years older and don't want to piss off grandma.So about a week later I'm shootin' pool at the local watering hole and she walks in and asks what I'm up to.I tell her I'm celebrating because my divorce was final today and she says her divorce was final the day before and we buy each other a few drinks.When it's time to leave she says she wants to give me a ride home.Damn,what a ride!She climbed on top and fucked me so hard it was sore for a week.Well,the next weekend I give her a call and ask if she wants to meet me for another game of "pool".She shows up and starts slammin' shot after shot.When we leave she wants me to drive her car cuz she's fucked up.So we get to my house and start making out in the car.The next thing I know she's puking all over the passenger side of the car and then wants to fuck.I tell her I'll give her a ride home and she says no mother fucker you better fuck me right now.I tell her maybe later and that I'll take her home.I take her home and carry her in and put her in bed.By now she's so trashed I can't even understand her.I drive her car back to my house figuring I'll get it back to her the next morning.I'm in my house getting ready to crash and all of a sudden I see flashing lights outside so I open my front door and there's six cops ,state,county,and village,all with guns drawn telling me to get on the ground.I ask what's going on and they ask me who's car that is in my drive.I tell them I drove the girl home and she was pissed because I wouldn't fuck her and to look in the car and they'd know why.So they call her house back and grandma answers and tells them the girl's passed out and won't wake up and I'm a friend so leave me alone.They get off the phone and all start laughing their asses off.They tell me they're sorry but they thought they had a stolen car and better luck next time.She still calls me every few months but I don't let her come over if she sounds like she's had too much to drink.
| ||
|
My worst date happened quite a few years ago, and was actually a first date, and of course, last. Before the online dating sites came to be there were the phone tele-personals which I started on. I had been talking with this one guy for a couple of weeks and we really seemed to hit it off so we planned on our first date. Being a first date or meeting we decided to meet for coffee after work. Being such a nice person, I'm not the type that would walk out the back door if I don't like what's waiting for me, so, when I saw him, I sat down at the table and ordered a cup of coffee. I could not believe the smell coming from this guy. Even from across the table the stink was so bad I could not breath through my nose. He was very un-kept like he didn’t bathe for at least a month and his clothes were filthy. I was polite enough to have 2 cups of coffee, which I drank down really fast since I was trying not to breath through the nose, before telling him that I was not interested. ALL I wanted to do was get away from him and the smell. No such luck. He decided to walk me out to my car, and when outside asked me for a kiss. I made some dumb excuse as my lips weren't going anywhere near him, but then he grabbed me and said, ok a hug then. I almost died on the spot as the smell was so bad. After I made my escape, I got into my car and started driving away with the windows open, it was winter, to get the smell off of me. The only thing going through my mind at that point was "I HAD PHONE SEX WITH THAT!!!! Now I have a rule… NO phone sex with anyone I plan on meeting.
| ||
|
THIS IS ONE FOR THE BOOKS, WELL AFTER A FEW WEEKS OF TALING WITH THIS WOMAN ON THE COMPUTER THEN EVENTUALLY ON THE PHONE, THOUGHT I WAS BEING CAREFUL BUT DAMN WAS I WRONG, HERE I'M THINKING I'M GONNA MEET THIS HOT LITTLE BLONDE WITH A DOROTHY HAMILL HAIRCUT W/KILLER GREEN EYE'S AND A BODY TO DIE FOR WHO HAS HER OWN HARLEY AND A HARLEY DAVIDSON SPECIAL EDITION PICK-UP AND HAS A NICE HOUSE IN MY HOME TOWN, HALF WAY MEETING PLACE WAS AN 1HR AND 20 MINUTES FOR ME, BUT AS I WAS SETTING UP LAST MINUTE DETAILS I HAD ASKED HER TO WEAR THE BLACK COWBOY HAT THAT HAD WORN IN HER PICTURE SO SHE WOULD BE EASIER TO SPOT AT THE BAR, AND SHE SAID I THREW THAT OLD THING AWAY YEARS AGO?. FOR A SMART MAN THAT WOULDA BEEN A BRIGHT RED FLAG BUT I WAS THINKING WITH THE OTHER HEAD!, SO ANYWAY I JUMP ON THE BIKE AND START HEADING NORTH, THERES AN ACCCIDENT AT THE TOLL BOOTH SO I GOTTA BACKTRACK AND GET OFF ON AN EXIT THA TAKES ME THROUGH SOME WOODSY BACKROADS WHICH I LIKE ANYWAY BUT ITS STARTING TO GET DARK AND THESE WOODS HAVE SOME PRETTY BIG DEER IN THEM WOULDN'T YOU KNOW I HAD TO DAMN NEAR LAY THE BIKE DOWN TO AVOID A NOT ONE OR TWO DEER BUT A WHOLE FUCKING HERD OF THEM, SO AFTER THE COLOR WAS FINALLY BACK IN MY FACE AND I HAD STOPPED PANTING AFTER 3 CIGARRETTES, I HEADED ON UP TO THE MALL LOOKING FOR THIS BLACK HARLEY PICK-UP WELL ON THIS PARTICULAR NIGHT THERE ARE A 1/2 DOZEN BLACK HD FORD PICK-UPS AND I'M RIDING AROUND LOOKING INTO THE BLACK FROSTED WINDOWS ON THESE TRUCKS LOOKING FOR MY HONEY OF A BLONDE WHICH SHE FOUND ME AND WAS YELLING OUT TO ME! ANOTHER ONE WITH A 20 YR OLD PICTURE MY HOT GORGEOUS BLONDE HAD TURNED INTO A 50 SOMETHING YR OLD (ON A GOOD DAY?) FUCKING TROLL WITH LONG RED STRAGGLY HAIR IN A VERY LARGE PAUNCHO WITH SUMMER TEETH, MY FIRST INSTINCT WAS TO TUCK TAIL AND HAUL ASS, BUT I STOPPED AND POLITELY TRIED ONCE MORE TO BE THE GENTLEMAN AND SAID WHAT THE FUCK I'M STARVING AND SHE CAN BUY HER OWN DINNER AND I CAN GET BACK DOWN TO THE BEACH BEFORE THE NIGHT WAS OVER AND MAYBE GET LUCKY ELSWHERE (HOW BAD COULD IT BE?) NEVER ASK THAT QUESTION AGAIN! SO WE GET A SEAT AT A BOOTH, SHE IS ALOT LARGER THAN ANY WOMAN I'VE EVER SAT DOWN TO EAT WITH ANYWHERE THE TABLE HAS TO BE PUSHED SO FAR OVER TO MY SIDE IT WAS CRUSHING MY RIB'S, 1ST THINGS 1ST THIS WOMAN KNEW RED LOBSTER'S MENU BY HEART! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RED LOBSTER MENU? IF YOU PUT THE PAGES END TO END THEY COULD CROSS THE BIGGEST SIDE OF THE RESTUARANT AND STILL HAVE PAGES LEFT! WHEN THE WAITRESS GOT THERE I WAS FALLING ASLEEP WAITING FOR HER TO STOP ORDERING, SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS GETTING A FREE MEAL? NOT IN THIS LIFE! WHEN THE FOOD STARTED ARRIVING THERE WAS NO ROOM FOR MY PLATE! WHEN SHE STARTED EATING SHE WAS MAKING MORE NOISE THAN A WHOLE FARM, MY 2ND THOUGHT WAS TO EXCUSE MYSELF HEAD TO THE BATHROOM THROW THE WAITRESS A 50 AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, WHICH I DID, I FINALLY LISTENED TO YM THOUGHT PROCESS AND I GOT ON THE BIKE AND STARTED HEADING SOUTH, NOT 10 MINUTES INTO THE TRIP IT STARTED GETTING REALLLY WINDY ENOUGH TO BLOW VEHICLES INTO MY LANE THEN IT STARTED POURING AND THERE WAS NO POINT IN STOPPING CAUSE I WAS IMMEDIATELY SOAKED EVEN THOUGH IT WAS EARLY SUMMER I HAD TO PULL UNDER AN OVER PASS TO GET INTO SOME DRY CLOTHES AND GET SOME RAIN GEAR ON BUT BY THAT TIME IT WAS RAINING SO HARD YOU COULDNT SEE, THIS WAS 10 PM AND THE RAIN DIDNT LET UP UNTIL 1 HOUR FROM LAST CALL AND I WAS STILL AND HOUR + AWAY FROM THE BEACH (HOME) SO I SUITED UP IN ALL THAT HOT ASS RAIN GEAR AND IT DIDNT RAIN A DROP ALL THE WAY HOME AND BY THE THE TIME I GOT THERE ALL THE GOOD BARS WERE CLOSED, WHY WOULD ANYONE POST 20 YR OLD PICTURES KNOWING AT SOME POINT YOURE GONNA MEET? I'D HAVE CALL THAT DATE SCARY MARY THE TROLL FROM HELL, AFTER THAT I SAID SCREWW COMPUTER DATING OR ATLEAST A GOOD TWO OR THREE WEBCAM CHATS BEFORE I MEET ANYONE AND THAT WAS THE END OF THE BIKER DATING SITE!
| ||
2/29/2008 9:11 pm |
the worst date i had was with a big bitch but not ur normal big bitch. this girl try to eat her way in to my pocket. Normaly big girl is post to be greedy but not only greedy she breath like and anmial, we was watch a movie but u could here it because she was breath so damn hard that every one went to sen in the front. so told her i had to go the bathroom but soon as i got out of the theater i roll out and hop on the bus
| ||
2/29/2008 8:49 pm |
Of all the stories i've read, none has gone through what we went through. We were in the mood to meet a couple and at last minute, we made plans w/ this one couple. the guy had this fantasy of having my husband cum inside his wife, who doesnt? now, they have kids and we don't like having kids in the house while we do stuff, but we said we would make an exception. we drive an hour, almost hour and a half to their place and we get there and had to wait for the wife to put the kids to bed. already im having a bad feeling about this... so we talk to the husband. he asks us if we have kids, "no, we don't." we're young, just about to get married. we talk somemore and some reason he asks us again if we have kids, again we say no. what i should've said was "no, but we plan on having some in a couple years." the wife comes downstairs and this woman is huge! instantly i feel sorry for my husband. the husband wasn't good looking either, i should've looked at the tiny pic they gave us a little closer... so they put on some porn to get everyone in the mood and we start doing stuff. i didnt feel comfortable making noise b/c there were kids in the house. this guy is fucking me on the carpet like a jack rabbit. i swear i had rug burn on my ass! i look over and my husband looks like he's screwing jello. well, the night goes on some more and finally comes to the end, time to finish. so the guy finishes, cumming on my stomach, and like the guy wanted, my husband comes in his wife and the couple both sigh w/ enjoyment. BUT then the guy asks, "your husband is fixed right?" panic fills my body! "what do u mean?!" "oh, my wife isn't on birth control and your husband can't have kids, right?!" "umm, WHAT?! why would you think that?! fuck, what do we do?!" he thought when we said we didn't have kids, he took it has we cant have kids. who the fuck would think that of a young couple? who in their 20's gets fixed? he should have asked that instead of asking if we had kids and for some reason when we talked about his fantasy, i could've sworn i asked him if his wife was on birth control or fixed! so after trying to get it out of her and thinking about what to do, i take birth control pills (thank god one of us is smart!) so i told her, "here, take these now, and then 12 hours later, take these. taking multiple birth control pills is like plan b. So we leave and go home. we i/m them back and forth for awhile. they made threats and everything they were saying sounded like they are trying to con us for money or one thing or another. i copied and saved our convos just in case we might need them. we still haven't heard anything from them or their suppossed "lawyers". we learned our lesson, always use protection no matter what and don't make any exceptions. i know we should have been smarter about the situation, but nothing comes close to their stupidity.
| ||
|
THIS DATE FROM HELL HAS TO DO WITH THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF COMPUTER DATING! FIRST OF ALL I'M GONNA GUESS 25% OF THESE WOMEN FROM THIS BIKER SITE ALL USE PICTURE'S 15 YEARS OLDER THAN WHAT THEY REALLY ARE, THIS WOMAN I MET WAS JUST TOO TOO EAGER TO MEET, IT WAS 8PM AND I WAS TRYING TO DUCK OUT OF THIS MEETING IN MY HOME BAR POLITELY BUT SHE INSISTED ON MEETING, SO I SUGGESTED A PLACE REALLY FAR AWAY TO TRY AND MAKE HER FORGET ABOUT IT TO NO AVAIL, SO I'VE GOT THIS PICTURE OF WHAT THIS GIRL IS GONNA LOOK LIKE IN MY HEAD FROM HER ONE POSTED PICTURE AND THIS IS GONNA BE A RIDE DATE AS IN A HARLEY RIDE AFTER WE GRAB A BITE TO EAT, SO THIS WOMAN DRIVES 1&1/2 HOURS ONE WAY TO MEET ME AT A BAR I NEVER GO TO, DESCRIBES TO ME HER VEHICLE SO I'LL KNOW WHO SHE IS, NOW HER PROFILE SAY'S HD CLAMBABE 5'4" 125LBS SO I MEET HER IN FRONT OF HER TRUCK AND SHE PROCEEDS TO GET OUT AND SHE IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE PICTURE OF THE PROFILE STATS AND WITHOUT CRYING I'M TRING TO FIGURE OUT HOW I'M GONNA HOLD THIS ITALIAN TOMATOE SHAPED WOMEN UP ON MY HARLEY, SHE WAS MORE LIKE 5' AND 160LBS AND 140 OF IT IS ALL ASS, SO TO GET MY NERVE UP WITHOUT BEING MEAN, CAUSE BY THE LOOKS OF HER I DONT WANNA PISS HER OFF, WE GO IN FOR A DRINK WHICH I NEVER DO WHEN I'M ON THE BIKE AND THIS WOMAN HAS INTANTANIOUSLY TURNED INTO A TRUCKDRIVER MOUTHWISE AND I'M REALLY HAPPY AT THIS POINT THAT I DON'T KNOW ANYONE MY POCKET IS REALLY UN-HAPPY WITH HER 3 TO MY ONE DOUBLE CROWN AND WATER'S, HAD TO PICK A BITCH THAT DRINK'S MY POISON OF CHOICE, SO EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW ANYONE THERE I'VE GOTTA GET THIS BITCH OUTTA HERE CAUSE HER CHOICE OF CUSS WORDS ARE RANKING UP THERE WITH MY WORST COMBINATIONS AND EVER OTHER WORD OUT OF HER MOUTH IS MUTHER FUCKER COCKSUCKER AND THE N-WORD, I'M 6'2" AND FEELING LIKE A MIDGET AT THIS POINT SO I GET HER OUT TO THE BIKE, AND ON THIS GIRLS PROFILE SHE'S BEEN RIDING FOR YEAR'S, WELL ONCE SHE FINALLY GOT ON, 3 TRIES WITH NO BALANCE WHAT SO EVER, I'VE NEVER HAD A WOMAN HEAVIER THAN 110 LBS ON THE BIKE OR ANY BIKE FOR THAT MATTER AND I HAVE A NICE CUSTOM SPORT TOURING HARLEY THAT HAS MORE ASS THAN MOST BIKE'S, WE GO TO PULL AWAY AND I HAVENT EVEN LEFT THE PARKING LOT AND THIS BITCH IS TRYING TO PULL BOTH OF US TO THE GROUND I'VE GOT 3500 TIED UP IN JUST THE PAINT JOB (IT'S BEEN NAMED THE OTHER WOMAN BY MANY) SO I'M CRUISING DOWN OCEAN HIGHWAY THINKING AND MY THOUGHT IS EVERYONE KNOWS MY BIKE AND I PRAY TO GOD NO ONE SEE'S THIS AMAZON MOM ON THE BACK OF MY BIKE, SHE'S HOLDING ON SO TIGHT MY CIRCULATION IS BEING CUT OFF COULDN'T GET WOOD AT THIS POINT IF SHE WAS PAMELA ANDERSON, SO ALL OF A SUDDEN I'VE GOT A RED LIGHT AND TRYING TO STOP YOUR BIKE WITH AN EXTRA 75 LBS BEING SLAMMED INTO YOUR BACKSIDE AT A MOMENTS NOTICE IS A JOB IN ITSELF, SO AFTER THE U-TURN WITH A FAT WOMAN ON THE BACK WHO'S NEVER RIDDEN ON THE BACK OF ANYTHING EXCEPT MAYBE A PICK-UP TRUCK, I DAMN NEAR DROPPED THE BIKE AND ONE MY FEET HIT THE GROUND WITH THE BIKE AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE MY CALVE'S ARE SCREAMING WITH ALL THEY HAVE NOT TO LET MY PERFECT SCRATCHLESS BABY HIT THE ASPHALT, THIS WOMAN IS FIGHTING ME WITH EVERY TURN AND JUST TAKING MY BALANCING ACT TO HELL I FINALLY SAID AS MY POOR BRAKES WERE SCREAMING WITH PAIN, THE BIKE WAS ACTUALLY SAYING GET THIS FUCKING FRANKENSTIEN OFF OF ME PLEASE, I SAID I THINK I'M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THE BRAKES AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK SINCE I'M LEAVING FOR MYRTLE BEACH THE NEXT DAY FOR BIKE WEEK, I TOOK HER BACK TO HER TOYOTA TRUCK (POOR TRUCK) DROPPED HER OFF AND DIDN'T GIVER HER TIME TO GET MY EXTRA HELMET OFF AND HAULED ASS WITH THE LIGHTS OFF SO SHE CATCH MY TAG NUMBER, MY NUMBER 1 CUMPUTER DATE FROM HELL I HAVE 3 MORE FROM THIS SAME BIKER SITE, BUT I'LL SAVE THIS ONE FOR ANOTHER ENTRY SINCE YOU'LL PROBABLY BE LAUGHING SO HARD YOU'LL CRY I KNOW I DID! WOLFMAN!
| ||
1 post 2/29/2008 8:01 pm |
Brief and to the point: I had one date that was going very well, and starting getting a little steamy... I asked her back to my place. She said "Actually, can we go to MY place...? That's where my meds are."
|
Become a member to create a blog
